Campaign 2000:
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RACE
for the
CURE


July 28 - August 11, 2000

 

Bush Urges Media: "Please -- No Dick Jokes!"
(Updated Weekly)

Now that Republican presidential nominee George W. Bush has selected a Dick -- former Defense Secretary Dick Cheney -- as his running mate, he is urging reporters across the land to refrain from making the usual "Dick" jokes.  "He likes to be called 'Dick,'" said Bush of his vice presidential nominee, "and I take him at his word.  But I want to emphasize that in his case, the use of the word 'Dick' is strictly as a nickname for 'Richard,' not as a substitute name for Mr. Cheney's penis."  When reporters asked Bush what the hell he was talking about, the Texas governor shrugged and replied, "I'm a 'compassionate conservative'."

For More on Dick Cheney, See the Most Recent Cloning Experiment Gone A Wry
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