See Span Run

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September 5 - 12, 2002

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September 11, 2001

What the Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:


"... a cutthroat look at current issues... The writing is clever and worth checking out."
               --NBCi 


"Political Site of the Day!"
               --Aboutpolitics.com


"A total piece of shit!"
       --Sharon H. Devinney,
          Cyberspace Surfer

Europeans Want U.S. To Air-Drop Pat Boone CDs On Baghdad  

Sentiment against a potential U.S. war on Iraq continued to swell across the European continent this week, with several nations advocating that the United States air-drop Pat Boone CDs on Baghdad instead, according to sources abroad (as opposed to sources "a dude").  However, there was widespread disagreement in the European community as to which Boone album to air-drop onto the Iraqi capital.  "Love Letterz in za Sand is ze only vun to drop," said German Chancellor Adolph Coors.  France Prime Minister Pepe LePew had another idea:  "In a Met-tell Mood:  No More Mis-Tear Nice Guy is... how do you say... ve-ree roman-teek, no?"  Italian Prime Minister Joey Soprano had his own favorite:  "Pat-uz... A-forty Big-a One-za," he said, adding, "Sounds-a like-a extortion money, no?"      U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney thanked the Europeans for their suggestions, but quickly added, "We feel that dropping Pat Boone CDs on Saddam Hussein would be about as effective as the previous strategy of sending UN inspectors in with blindfolds..." (See The Most Irrelevant Figure For August)

Mickey Fulfills Asian Ménage Trois Fantasy

Disney character Mickey Mouse has reportedly fulfilled a life-long fantasy of having a ménage trois with two Asian women, a publicist for the character said today.  "Despite over fifty years of unparalleled success in film and television, Mickey has long felt that there was a void in his life, a void that could only be filled by having a threesome with two middle-aged Asian women," said publicist Lee DiRuvthepack, who was made for you and me and who added, "The experience was everything Mickey thought it would be, and more."  However, there is some speculation that the two women involved are having second thoughts about the tryst -- and one is even being tested for Hantavirus...

France Blames U.S. For Sharp Downturn in Beret Sales 

Story at 11...