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August 12 - August 19, 2005 
 

 

 

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 'Musicians For Bush' Rally A Low-Key Affair


 A group of pro-Bush musicians staged the first-ever "Musicians For Bush" rally in Backskirts, Louisiana last weekend, and by all accounts the event went off without a hitch, although the group had hoped for a little better turnout.  "The good thing about small crowds is you can hear yourself play," said guitarist Seth Richards.  "The bad thing is you play your heart out on a tune and then six people clap politely."  Drummer Mick Ribbs said the event was important even if no one had shown up to watch.  "We wanted to show our support for the president," said Ribbs, "and to let America know that not every musician is hopelessly lost in the 60's."  A publicist for the group, Anita Newjob, said there are plans for a live CD to be released later in the Fall, to counter rumors that John Lennon and George Harrison are planning to return to life to reunite with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr on a world tour entitled "All You Need Is To Impeach Bush..."

The Real Mr. 3000

Baltimore Orioles first baseman Rafael Palmeiro, who recently reached the magical 3,000 hit platform just days before being suspended for steroid use, is preparing for life after baseball, and is reportedly close to inking a deal with Gallstone Pictures to star in The Real Mr. 3000, a sequel to the Bernie Mac comedy Mr. 3000... 

Sightseeing Couple Still Trying To Remember What They Left At Home

Edward and Colleen Buffington stood pensively for several moments on the curb of Constitution Avenue in Washington, D.C. after being dropped off by a local bus.  A half-hour later, while in the Grand Room of the Washington Museum of Art, Mr. and Mrs. Buffington continued to stand pensively, trying unsuccessfully to remember what it was that they left at home.  "You brought your keys, right?" said Colleen Buffington.  "Yes.  Got em right here in my hands," answered Edward Buffington.  "What about your wallet?" asked Mrs. Buffington.  "You know I just carry cash," answered Mr. Buffington, a trace of annoyance in his voice.   Then Edward turned to his wife and said, "What about you?  Did you bring your cell phone?"  Colleen patted her substantial cleavage.  "Don't leave home without it," she said.  Hours later, the couple sat together in a posh downtown restaurant, still trying to recall what it was that they had left at home earlier...

N. Korean Men's Choir Dazzles Sold-Out Crowd

  • Story at 11...

 

 

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