See Span Run
AN EQUAL
OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER
March 14 - March 21, 2006
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BRAND NEW! The Most Irrelevant Person, Place or Thing for March 2006!
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Sean Hannity: The Latest Cloning Experiment Gone A Wry
ALSO...
LAST WEEK:
"Arab
Companies To Operate Port-a-Potties"
LAST
YEAR:
"March
Madness!"
Click On The TV And Check Out A "See Span Run" Flashback To LAST YEAR At This Time...
What the
Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:
"... a cutthroat look at current issues... The writing is clever and
worth checking out."
--NBCi
"Political Site of the Day!"
--Aboutpolitics.com
"A total piece of shit!"
--Sharon H. Devinney,
Cyberspace Surfer
In the aftermath of last month's scaled-back but spirited Mardi Gras celebration in New Orleans -- the first such event since the wrath of Hurricane Katrina breeched the levees and flooded the city over six months ago - one woman on hand for the festivities is suing the federal government over... well, beads. Kimberly Wellings, a 21-year-old college student, says that during the post-parade celebration she flashed her breasts at a representative with the Federal Emergency Management Administration (FEMA) in exchange for some of the famed Mardi Gras beads. But although the FEMA rep was treated to several viewings of Wellings' smaller-than-average breasts, the Auburn University student still hasn't received the beads she was promised, and now she fears she won't receive them at all. "Guys are pigs," said Wellings, "especially guys who work for FEMA. I mean, it's like, I can't believe he would do that!" After we expressed our deepest condolences to Miss Wellings, she thanked us and then abruptly flashed her breasts at us..."
Editorial: George Clooney Is A Very Important Man!
In the wake of the annual Hollywood "circle jerk" known as the Oscars, it has become apparent to anyone not residing under a rock that George Clooney is indeed a very important man. Yes, it's true women only go to his movies to stare at his buttocks and men go because they are out with their dates who, hopefully, will scream out George's name in ecstasy later while giving it up to them. But just because he's sexy doesn't mean he's not extremely important. Don't pigeon-hole him as just another Hollywood pretty boy; this man knows things that most people in "flyover country" have no clue about. George knows, for example, that Sen. Joseph McCarthy infringed on people's civil liberties during his communist witch hunt back in the 1950's. And of course, he knows that the 1950's are totally connected to what's happening in 2006, just as 1968 is. I mean, don't you understand, people??? Can't you SEE the link? McCarthy... Bush? Vietnam.... Iraq? Herpes... Chlamydia? If you can't see it, people then... you're just not important, that's all... But while George knows all these important things, he also, unfortunately, knows what happened to Laci Peterson...
Click Here To See What George Knows...
Milosevic Dead; Gingrich, Missing: Coincidence?
This Year, Give Her What She REALLY Deserves...
Help Is On The Way!
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Just Ask For Dick!
Sodee Pretzel Rods
They're
Straight Delicious!
If You See An Opening, Go For It!
At
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Bob Dole Has A Bone To Pick With You!
The Eddie & the Cruisers of Comedy!
Martha is
Back!
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