See Span Run
AN EQUAL
OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER
March 21 - March 28, 2006
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BRAND NEW! The Most Irrelevant Person, Place or Thing for March 2006!
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Sean Hannity: The Latest Cloning Experiment Gone A Wry
ALSO...
LAST WEEK:
"Mardi
Gras Woman Who Flashed Breasts at FEMA Rep Still Waiting For
Beads"
LAST
YEAR:
"PETA
Says 'Let Terri Die!'"
Click On The TV And Check Out A "See Span Run" Flashback To LAST YEAR At This Time...
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Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:
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"A total piece of shit!"
--Sharon H. Devinney,
Cyberspace Surfer
Long-time journalist-turned-Bush hater Helen Thomas reportedly has tried to patch things up with the president by offering him an apple which she claims she "picked herself" from an orchard near her home on Capitol Hill. "Here, Mr. President," said Thomas in a squeaky, taunting voice, "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but here's a little token of good will." Thomas then cackled evilly as Bush naively accepted the apple. "If I can trust George Tenet, I can certainly trust you," said Bush, smiling as he took a large bite from the ruby red apple. Within minutes, the president was talking in complete, coherent sentences...
Teen Boy Who Had Sex With Teacher Still Traumatized, Getting High-Fives From Friends
The 15-year-old boy who got laid, er, sexually molested by his hot, er, disgusting 8th grade teacher is reportedly still traumatized by the incident, according to his mother, and is still accepting high-fives from his friends, according to school officials. The teacher, 25-year-old Debra Lafave, had charges against her thrown out of a Marion (FL) County courtroom because the boy's mother did not want to traumatize him further by testifying. However, in the halls outside his ninth-grade classroom, the boy has been testifying about the trysts with Lafave on a regular basis, presenting graphic details, resulting in multiple high-fives. In fact, the boy, who was 14 when the encounters took place, has now taken on cult hero-like status among his peers. "It's good to be da king," the boy was heard saying to his pals. "In fact, I think I'm going to give Debra a call this weekend and get me a little more of that ying-yang..."
Former CIA Director Tenet Quietly Observing Three-Year Anniversary of Iraq War
Lost in all the propaganda from both sides of the political aisle during the recent three-year anniversary of the Iraq invasion is the whereabouts of a man very instrumental in the original decision to go to war - former CIA Director George Tenet. Observers close to Tenet says that he has been wearing a fake wig and beard in recent weeks to go undetected during this "difficult" period. One observer even spotted him helping an Amish family build a barn on a farm in Pennsylvania on the day of the anniversary. Interestingly, the same observer witnessed Tenet repeatedly hammering his thumb by mistake...
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