This Year, Give Her What
She REALLY Deserves...		 See Span Run™
GET A LEG UP ON THE NEWS
BlondeStar:
Help Is On The Way!

On The Menu

 

Cloning Experiments Gone A Wry

BACKGROUND:  Dr. Pierce Buttocks, a visiting fellow at The Retention Institute in Lithium, New York, has been at the forefront of cloning technology for the past several years.  A world-reknowned expert in the field of genetics and  Deoxyribo Nucleic Acid research, Buttocks has been a fierce advocate of human cloning research and has grown impatient with the federal government's foot-dragging on the issue.   

Just over two years ago, tragedy struck while Buttocks was at home watching an Oliver Stone film festival on WTBS.  Buttocks apparently went insane and decided to begin conducting human cloning experiments in a private laboratory in his basement.  He set his sights big by targeting famous public figures to be his first case subjects.

Since that fateful weekend, Buttocks has been traveling the world, stealing DNA samples from celebrities and political figures alike.  Exactly how he obtained these samples remains a mystery, and one that, frankly, not many wish to solve.  His ultimate goal is to use these samples to clone celebrities and start his own talent agency.  However, Buttocks has yet to master the technology, as illustrated by the botched experiments below:

 

 

Dick Fitzgerald Honda


Just Ask For Dick!

Sodee Pretzel Rods


They're Straight Delicious!

 

If You See An Opening, Go For It!

 

At LensCrafters
We Can't Guarantee Miracles

 

Bob Dole Has A Bone To Pick With You!

 

The Eddie & the Cruisers of Comedy!

 


The King of Rears?

 


Priceless!

Note: Much of the material contained in this web site is the intellectual property of Cabbagetown Productions and "See Span Run." Any unauthorized use of this material for purposes of commerce is strictly prohibited. Violators shall be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, or forced to spend a weekend at Jack Kevorkian's time-share vacation home in the former Yugoslavia.